I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
