Can i not drive my cunt home
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
