bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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