She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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