Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
