He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize