she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
