stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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