Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
