This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
