is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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