dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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