so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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