I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
