I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
