You can't special order awesome
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize