we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
