4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
