Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
