That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
