there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
