I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
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Call your mom
Well if that girl REALLY wants to thank you maybe you wont need to fuck yourself so you can kill two birds with one penis-shaped stone..
Just take care of the grateful girl and fucking yourself. I'll take care of your mom.
I'd wanna find out wtf I did to be thanked.
this is pretty much like a nick swardson joke, he ran into a friend after a night of partying and asked him how his night was and his friend said "i shit my pants, i broke up with my girlfriend and i punched my best friend in the face...i dont know what to take care of first"
That's exactly what I was gonna say Nick Swardson Rip off
You should fuck yourself first.
I submitted this! :)
This is from a girl not guy...it's from me. Also, not a Nick Swarsdon rip off, I don't know who that is
Hey I was in RI last weekend! Love it..
Dude call your fucking mum
YEAH RHODE ISLAND
Girl call the girl
This is hilarious.
def ripped off from nick swardson... and if you don't know who that is, then maybe you SHOULD go fuck yourself
Your mother of course
Hmm. Happened to me the other day too.
Girl. Fucking yourself. Mom.
I think there's a good chance this might be from one of my brothers . . .
The texts duh!