i permit you to call me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think your dad took our porno
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
