It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize