Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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