is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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