If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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