yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
