It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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