even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
