I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
