I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
