Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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