You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize