she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
