He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
