they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
