Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
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you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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