I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
