When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize