Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
