dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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