hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
