hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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