he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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