If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
