Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
