dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
