there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize