you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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