Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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