at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
