There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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