I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
