I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How does it feel to date your dad?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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