you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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