So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
