So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
