It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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