she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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