no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
