Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
