i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
