he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
